The one year anniversary of our big move to Europe has arrived, and I can't help but feel contemplative about it. Perhaps it all started on our honeymoon, or the day we met, or maybe moving to Europe has been in our plans all along, who knows, but we'll never be the same, and we've never been happier about our risky decision. Brandon and I both had tumultuous years leading up to our first encounter and then extremely busy years afterward. Between carrying on our relationship, driving our careers, planning a wedding and deciding what was next after that, I'm not sure much breathing or reflection time was allowed.
Then we went to San Francisco for our honeymoon, took a few deep breaths, had hours of reflection and many, many, good long talks and realized we were ready for a change. We met Beppe later that week in the Haight district, finished off a fabulous vacation and came home with desires for a different location and a different lifestyle. Neither of us were searching for ourselves, or for greatness or for any other typical bullshit excuse for making such a huge decision, we just wanted to be happy. Why the hell not was our daily motto, we (obviously) hate the feeling of having to do anything a certain way because it's expected, making this opportunity perfect.
Brandon moved first for about a month while I lived with my Dad and failed miserably at trying not be an emotional girl for three weeks. I cried, and cried, and cried, and cried. The whole situation was overwhelming - I missed my husband dearly, I knew I was going to miss my family and my friends, I was scared to death about moving to a foreign country when I'd never even left the US before, and I was just plain and simple, freaked out. Even though I always felt like the type of person that wanted to be different without a care about what society deemed appropriate - I couldn't believe I was actually following through with it on such a large scale.
The day before I left, I cried even more, said goodbye to my sisters, said goodbye to my dad, then said goodbye to my two best friends, and I cried and cried and cried before going to sleep that night. When the morning came however, I felt oddly okay, ready to leave, and excited, as if all the crying and emotional breakdowns just needed to happen for me to be able to let go of the past and say hello to my new life with my new husband.
As you all know, I had a lot to let go of, and it wasn't easy: my family, my friends, the leftover emotions, and the physical pain, literally, from that dreaded night in November four years ago. Everybody, including myself, repeats those wanted changes they long for in their heads everyday; to lose weight, to be more positive, to stop and smell the roses, to work harder, to eat healthy and blah, blah, blah - but maybe we all have to let go of something first before we can allow change. And for me, letting go happened in its most pure physical form - uncontrollable, relentless, ugly, snotty sobbing. But then I was okay, I boarded three flights, a Venetian city bus, and a sweaty second class regional train to Verona, Italy and brought on that big need for change with a vengeance.
Now a year has past and the changes that have taken place, despite the obvious of living in a foreign country, actually surprise me. For one, I realized Brandon and I were always happy, so 'searching for happiness' quickly became irrelevant - we were just really, really stressed out and needed a break. Another realization, also connected to irrelevance, was discovering the hang-ups that occur in different societies, a result of which, makes these hang-ups altogether irrelevant to both of us now.
For example, American society has hang-ups about two things that Europeans don't think twice about: nudity and drinking. (Refer to the youtube clips about Janet Jackson's breast reveal at the Superbowl a few years back, seriously? Get over it. And drinking wine before lunch, only brings good things to an otherwise normal day.) Although, Italians have hang-ups about two things Americans don't think twice about: working too much and fashion. (Nothing is ever open here, ever. And going to the grocery store requires a well thought out outfit, preferably with a designer bag and the perfect casual, but not too casual, shoes.)
In all however, the most surprising change is our excitement to return home. Maybe traveling, partying in strange cities with strange people, discovering odd things about different cultures and, most importantly, realizing that life doesn't have to be so damn stressful, brought on a feeling of satisfaction and a longing for home. We truly miss our families and our friends. I really do think that unless people take advantage of the love around them, that there's no way they will ever be able to love or appreciate anything else. Traveling has made us realize what's important in life and what's not. More travels are ahead still however, the summer is new and the fall is bringing us to more countries so Cheers! to everyone, enjoy a beer before noon today, don't freak out about provocative advertisements, wear whatever you want to the grocery store and work as hard as you play this week.
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